Another one just in from our ‘If you don’t laugh you’ll cry’ team…

Binge drinkers will be targeted by a government advertising campaign attempting to shame them out of overindulging when pub opening hours are extended this autumn.

Sometimes fisking is just so easy…

1. Binge drinkers aren’t watching tv ads. They’re out binge drinking.

2. Anything you learn from the ad will be forgotten by the time you’ve drained your second pint.

3. Binge drinkers have no shame anyway.

It follows research suggesting one of the reasons Britain does not have a relaxed, Mediterranean-style ‘cafe culture’ of drinking is because there is little stigma now attached to being drunk in public.

Are you kidding me? The press and television are full of stories, opinion pieces and lurid stories of binge drinkers and their habits. The reason why binge drinking is escalating out of control is because there’s not enough pain attached to it.

Here’s the ‘Gary Monro formula for dealing with binge drinkers who disturb the peace’.

1. Lock them up for 48 hours.

2. Fine them 250 pounds.

3. For a subsequent offence, double points 1 and 2.

4. And so on.

5. That’s it.

The pain of imprisonment will deter most from unrestrained alcohol consumption. Escalating fines will leave the rest too skint to buy the booze in the first place.

Honestly, rocket science this isn’t.

UPDATE

From the BBC:

The number of alcohol-related deaths has increased by nearly a fifth in four years, figures show.

The Liberal Democrats, which obtained the data, said people were “literally drinking themselves to death”, but the government said it was taking action.

Indeed it is. Longer opening hours and tv ads.

Bravo New Labour!